It Takes a Fool to Remain Sane
by sugar.coated
Summary: ~SLASH~ Kurt has a crush on Scott, and Pietro’s playing cupid and getting jiggy with Evan. Whee. Don’t you just love my summaries?


WARNING: Here is some light slash, ya know, same sex relationships. If you have issues with this for some reason, don't read this. Or do read this, but then you have no right to flame me because of that.  
  
  
  
  
  
It Takes a Fool to Remain Sane  
  
by sugar.coated  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*I'm not the one who was expected  
  
So I'll return and be from heaven sent  
  
I'm gonna get myself elected  
  
And now I wanna be the president*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
His parents had always been very open-minded people. They had taught him that love was a beautiful thing, and it didn't matter whom you liked, because everyone deserved to be loved.  
  
Of course, since they had adopted a blue-skinned freak like him, what was there to expect?  
  
He still had complexes for his appearance, but not as much as he could have had. And as a result of his upbringing, he was also more comfortable with other things out of the norm than he would have been otherwise.  
  
So when Kurt Wagner realized that he had a crush on another boy, he didn't panic because it was just precisely another boy. No, he panicked because it was Scott Summers; the team-leader, big brother, Mr. Responsible, the guy that was straight as a ruler and having a _relationship_ of sorts with the local little miss perfect.  
  
So what was there to do about his current situation? Nothing, really, besides suffering in silence and trying to get over his crush as fast as possible. And complain about his dilemma to his best friend. Unfortunately, his best friend didn't react the way Kurt had hoped he would.  
  
"You have a crush on Scott?!?!?"  
  
"Schh!" Kurt hissed, glancing around as if he expected the bespectacled mutant to suddenly show up among the skateboard ramps even if he'd never showed up there before. Evan Daniels didn't listen to the older teen. He just kept laughing.  
  
"Dude! This is awesome! _You_ have a crush on _Scott_!"  
  
"Shut. Up." Kurt scowled at the skater. "I can't believe I though I could talk to you about dis."  
  
"Of _course_ you can talk to me about . . . this . . . this . . ." Evan couldn't help it, he started laughing again. Kurt gave him a light shove, happy that there were no other people here at the moment.  
  
"I hate you," the blue boy sniffed, looking crossed.  
  
"No you don't," Evan said, managing to fake seriousness. "What are you gonna do about it?"  
  
"Vhat?"  
  
"Your . . . _crush_!"  
  
" . . . nothing . . ."  
  
"What?!" Evan looked completely baffled. "Why not?"  
  
"Because it's _Scott_!"  
  
"So? I think you should go for it. Just grab him after training and ask: 'Should we go to my room?'. No, wait, make it 'your room', I don't want the two of you shaggin' in our room."  
  
Kurt stared at the brown-skinned teen.  
  
"I zink you've been spending _way_ too much time with Pietro."  
  
As an answer to this, Evan giggled like a little schoolgirl that had been tasting some of her parent's vodka, and proceeded to tell Kurt about how his and Pietro's relationship was progressing. The two "rivals" had been dating for the last couple of months, and Kurt was the only X-man that knew about it. Which was why he had thought the skater could be a sympathetic listener to his own love-problems. But apparently, so was not the case.  
  
"So, what _are_ you gonna do about Scott?" Evan had obviously noticed that Kurt wasn't listening to him, and had decided to return to the German's issues. Kurt frowned, but before he had the time to say anything someone else broke into the conversation.  
  
"Who'sgonnadowhataboutShades?"  
  
Evan smiled at his boyfriend that had showed up in less than a millisecond, as he was prone to do. Pietro Maximoff smiled back and gave the skater a quick kiss, then turned to Kurt who was still frowning.  
  
"Hello fuzzy, why so blue?"  
  
"Kurt has a crush on Scott," Evan was happy to share with the speed demon.  
  
"Eva-a-a-nnn . . ." Kurt whined. The blond teen just smiled innocently.  
  
"Really?" Pietro said, wearing his trademark smirk. "That's great!"  
  
"Vhat?!" Kurt exclaimed. "No it's not!"  
  
"Of course it is." The speed demon was now grinning like a deranged teddy bear. "I think you and Shades would make a great couple!"  
  
"Vhat!?! No we wouldn't!"  
  
"Of course you would. You're a Virgo, he's a Sagittarius, it's the perfect match!"  
  
"But . . . I'm not a Virgo."  
  
"Really? You act like it."  
  
"I don't think Scott's a Sagittarius," Evan pointed out.  
  
"Well, he should be," Pietro defended himself.  
  
"And Virgo and Sagittarius ain't the perfect match."  
  
"Shut up! You don't know anything 'bout astrology, so you have no say in this."  
  
"You don't know anything 'bout astrology either!"  
  
"That's not the point."  
  
"Then vhat's the point?" Kurt couldn't help but ask.  
  
"That you ought to get together with Summers," Pietro answered matter-of- factly. "Lesse, since he's such a tight-ass, you might be in for a challenge. However, you shouldn't let that stop you."  
  
"No, the fact zat he's straight should stop me."  
  
"Puh-leeze." The speedster rolled his eyes. " Shades is _not_ straight. What makes you think he is? Because of his and Red's "relationship"? C'mon, she's too busy with Mr jock, blond and stupid to even notice him."  
  
"Zat Jean is dating Duncan doesn't mean zat Scott is gay."  
  
"Oh he's gay. Trust me. Now. You've gotta be the one to take the first step, since Summers won't do it. I mean, even Todd gets more action than him."  
  
"I don't wanna know about stuff like that!" Evan exclaimed, whacking Pietro in the rear end with his skateboard. The speedster glared at him.  
  
"I'm just trying to help your _friends_, so lay of the abuse, 'kay?"  
  
"You said we were gonna make out," the skater sniffed, feeling neglected.  
  
"Later! I'm busy now."  
  
"Man, you guys act like an old married couple," Kurt muttered. As an answer, Pietro smacked him on top of the head.  
  
"No, we don't. And be nice, I'm trying to help you here."  
  
"But I don't vant your help!" the German exclaimed with an exasperated sigh. The white-haired teen looked hurt.  
  
"Everyone wants my help! People line up to get my help! My help is very valued!"  
  
"You're just delirious," Evan grumbled. Pietro glared at him. The skater glared back. The gypsy sniffed and decided to ignore his boyfriend for the moment, instead turning back to the fuzzy mutant.  
  
"Since Summers is so deprived in the sexual area, he'll probably be very easy to get into an relationship. So, all you've really gotta do is make your move."  
  
"And vhat do you suggest I do?" Kurt asked, despite his inner voice yelling at him to just port far far away from the demented speedster.  
  
"Just grab a firm hold of his shirt and kiss him. Here, I'll demonstrate how." That said, Pietro used Evan as his personal show-and-tell object. Not that Evan seemed to mind having the older teen's tongue showed down his throat.  
  
"Ach, mein Gott," Kurt mumbled, rolling his eyes. The two other mutants paid no attention to him, instead concentrating very hard on cleaning the each other's mouths with their tongues. The German wished to be somewhere else, preferably in a Jacuzzi with Scott. After all, watching Evan and Pietro making out wasn't exactly his idea of a great Friday night. He muttered a little to himself, deciding to port back to the Institute to see if it was too late to join Rogue and Kitty's movie marathon. However, before Kurt had time to move, a voice broke the relative silence of the Skate Park.  
  
"What the _fuck_ are you doing?!?"  
  
The three teens whirled around to see whom it was that'd made the exclamation, Pietro and Evan breaking their deep kiss with a smacking sound that sounded rather comical. Of course, it would have been more comical if it wasn't for the fact that Scott Summers was standing just a couple of feet away scowling darkly at all of them.  
  
"Scott said the f-word!" Evan looked surprised, amused, terrified and horny. The last emotion being the result of Pietro's extra attention. Speaking of the speed demon, he didn't seem too bothered by the sudden appearance of the leader of the enemy team. No, he just smiled widely at the older teen.  
  
"Why hello Summers. Fancy meeting you here. We were just talking about you, actually."  
  
"Oh really?" Scott said sarcastically. "Because it looked like you were too busy swallowing each other's tongues to talk."  
  
"Ehhh, I can explain that," Evan started, but was cut off by Pietro.  
  
"I bet you can Ev, but we should go now. I think Fuzzy can explain everything. Here's your chance, Blue Boy." With that said and a crazy grin in Kurt's direction, the white-haired teen grabbed his boyfriend and sped off, leaving behind a mildly enraged team leader and a mildly hysteric German.  
  
~I'm going to kill Pietro.~ Kurt thought. ~I'm going to kill him slow and painful. Preferably with a steamroller. Yes, steamrollers are nice.~ He was brought out of his musings by Scott calling his name.  
  
"Kurt!" And judging by the look on his face he had been trying to catch the younger teen's attention for quite a while.  
  
"Eh?" was all Kurt had to say.  
  
"I said, what was all that about?"  
  
~I have a seriously big crush on you.~  
  
"Uhm, Evan and Pietro has been sorta, uhm, dating for uh, a few months, and, yeah . . ." Kurt stuttered, cursing the fact that he seemed to have momentarily forgotten how to speak.  
  
Scott blinked in confusion. Of course, the German couldn't see this due to the red glasses that covered the older boy's eyes, and instead thought Scott was Very Angry.  
  
"I thought they hated each other . . ." Scott mused out loud after a while.  
  
"Not really . . ." Kurt mumbled, happy that Scott wasn't pissed off at him. Not that being pissed off seemed to be part of Scott's selection of moods in any case.  
  
"How long have you known about it?"  
  
"Uhh . . ." The blue-skinned teen cringed a little. "For about four months?"  
  
"That long? How come you never told anyone?"  
  
"'Cause Evan asked me not to," Kurt defended himself. "He said that no one would want him dating another guy, and it seems like he's right."  
  
"Wait, you think I disapprove of their relationship just because they're both guys?"  
  
"Ja. Zat's not it?"  
  
"_No_! It's because it's _Pietro_! I mean, not only is he a member of the Brotherhood, but he's frickin' annoying, too."  
  
"Ohh . . ."  
  
Silence settled over the park again.  
  
"So, were you really talking about me before?" Scott asked after a while.  
  
"Yeah . . ."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Listening to Pietro was dangerous. Following his advice was bad for both your health and sanity. Despite this knowledge, Kurt edged closer to Scott, tentatively reached out a hand and dragged Scott's head down so that their lips met. The kiss was soft and chaste, only two pair of lips barely pressing together, but it was the best experience in Kurt's young life so far.  
  
Then he realized that he was actually kissing Scott Summers. _He_ was kissing Scott. He was _kissing_ Scott. He was kissing _Scott_. Kurt broke the kiss and scrambled away, not daring to look at the older teen.  
  
"Ehh . . . sorry . . ." he mumbled, contemplating setting off after Pietro and kill the speedster for convincing him that kissing Scott actually was a good idea. Which it wasn't, even if it was kind of nice. However, before the blue teen could bolt, a hand caught his arm.  
  
"Wait!" Scott sounded rather confused. "What was . . . ? I mean, why . . . ? Wh . . . ? Can we do that again?"  
  
"Vhat?" Kurt looked at the brown-haired boy, who looked generally confused but decidedly happy.  
  
"Uhm, you know, kiss?" Scott said, looking slightly embarrassed. The German grinned happily and moved back so he was next to the taller teen again.  
  
"I'd like to do zat," he admitted. Scott smiled at him and leaned down, covering Kurt's mouth with his own in a tender and loving kiss. Which soon was followed by many more.  
  
Maybe there was no need to buy a steamroller after all.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
the end  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Authors Ramblings: Oookay. o.O I honestly don't know where this came from. I don't even _like_ Kurt! Well, he's okay and everything, but I prefer for Scott to be with Lance. So . . . that's the reason this sucks. It was mostly an excuse to use that super nifty quote in the beginning. Yup. Wheeee . . . I'm tired . . .  
  
I'd _really_ appreciate it if you told me what you think of this story. Please? Pretty please? It's very helpful.  
  
This is dedicated to my friend that probably won't ever read this. She was actually the one that made me start writing slash, even if she's not aware of it. Thanks for that random comment about Brendan Fehr, Jason Behr, Seth Green and James Marsters way back when we were watching "Remember the Titans". And all those laughs. Keanu lives in my bookshelf, now, I bet you want him back. I miss you, why don't we go and watch "The Two Towers"? And we still haven't taken a bath in a fountain, shame on us. (Don't smoke, it's bad for your health, darling.)  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is a picture of shirtless!Lance that I drew myself. That's it.  
  
Distribution: If ya want it, ya can have it. Just keep my name with it and let me know where it ends up. 


End file.
